Shampoo Kills Girltype Ranma
by Ron Dow75
Summary: Ranma can't see being topless is any real problem. Probably complete.


Shampoo Kills Girl-type Ranma  
By Ron Dow75  
"You're built like a stick! Your face makes me sick! Your   
thighs are too thick! You can't even kick! You're dumb as a   
brick! You act like a hick! Your hair's a cowlick! You itch   
like a tick!..."  
  
The insults reverberated in Akane's mind, over and over   
again. Each time they carried the same emotional pain. Her   
brain's synapses discharged their electrical signals as if   
they were lightning bolts:  
  
Zz-kzz! K-rrr! Kk-rrr! Kk-rrzzz!!   
  
"Oh, oh...ow-oh...oww, errr!..."  
  
Finally, Akane at last knew WHO it was she found so   
offensive! She screamed, "Ranma, you jerk!!" as she slapped   
him as hard as she could.  
  
The blow was so hard the boy landed meters away...where he   
laid, groaning in pain.  
  
Akane came to her sense, "Hhah! Oh!" Seeing what she'd   
done, she hurried over to him, "Ranma, are you all right?"  
  
Akane's dad rushed over to his daughter, "Akane! It worked,   
you remembered Ranma!" And he stood on Ranma as he grabbed   
his beloved daughter by her shoulders, "Akane!"  
  
Ranma yelled. Already in enough pain, he now had an adult   
man on his back.  
  
Akane tried to come to terms with what had happened, "Dad,   
I...."  
  
Her dad wept, "It's a miracle: A miracle of love!"  
  
Ranma pleaded, "Get off me!" as he struggled to crawl out   
from the man who refused to think of anybody but his   
daughter at the moment. "G-uh! I, I can't breathe! You're   
crushing me to death! Urh!..."   
  
Suddenly there was loud banging at the dojo wall in front   
of him.   
  
A section of the wall was shattered to pieces. On the other   
side of the gaping hole was a girl without the pants, just   
a Chinese silk shirt that almost let you know if she was   
wearing panties or not. "Nihao!" she greeted them with a   
smile.   
  
Akane said, "Shampoo!"   
  
Shampoo asked cheerfully, "Is girl-type Ranma almost   
killed, now? Shampoo come to help!"  
  
"C, c, could somebody help me...Please!"  
  
The Amazon looked down and saw that under the kindling she   
was standing on was a body.   
  
Shampoo leaped off to the side. Her hands over her mouth,   
she waited to see the condition of that body as it pulled   
itself out from under the kindling.  
  
She recognized the body as being in good condition, "Wo   
airen!" she cried, kneeling down to be closer to him.  
  
But before she could embrace him, Akane grabbed the   
Amazon's "husband" by his pigtail and yanked him away.  
  
Angry, shampoo challenged, "What you doing?" Then she   
realized, "So that it. You remember Ranma again. You are   
stubborn girl."  
  
Akane challenged back at her, "I wouldn't talk if I were   
you."  
  
"Hmh! Too bad. If you don't remember, you don't have to   
die." And Shampoo immediately, quicker than any normal   
person could respond, attacked Akane with a deadly two   
finger spear hand.  
  
Coming to the rescue, Ranma snatched Shampoo's fingers and   
held on. "Stop it Shampoo!"   
  
Shampoo became instantly heated. Smiling, she caressed his   
cheek, "Wo airen!" It was not enough, she threw her around   
his shoulders.  
  
Akane couldn't take any more the disgusting display,   
"Grr...Rarh! Stop DOING that!" she cried, smashing her   
elbow into and down on Ranma's face.   
  
Ranma used his natural strength to resist Akane's effort to   
push him to the floor to raise his head enough to ask   
Shampoo, "J, just, don't, hurt Akane, OKAY?!"  
  
Shampoo was insulted, "Why not? Is obstacle. That is for   
killing."  
  
Ranma yanked himself out from under Akane's power, "Hrrh!"   
He faced up to Shampoo. "I guess I have no choice. I'll   
have to tell the truth."  
  
///  
  
Ranma lead the two girls, two fathers and Ryoga to the   
Tendo garden. Picking up a pail, he stood beside the koi   
pond. He filled the pail.  
  
Sitting on the porch, Akane said, "Ranma are you sure you   
want to do that now? She'll only go after you again, you   
know."  
  
But Ranma gathered up his courage, "Okay, watch this,   
Shampoo." He upended the pail, letting the water fall over   
him.   
  
Shampoo stared, confused. Her airen was gone. Standing   
where he should have been was, "Girl-type, Ranma."  
  
Ranma-chan put her hands up near her neck, "Right. I've,   
tried to keep it a secret." She started unbuttoning her   
shirt, "But that boy-stuff is just a disguise. The truth   
is I've been a girl all along." And she showed the boobs   
that proved she WAS a fully developed girl.  
  
(Ryoga sagged from the doorjamb he was leaning again.   
  
(While Soun Tendo's long hair nearly stood on up.   
"Saotome!! Is this true!!"  
  
(The panda he was trying to strangle held up a sign, [Oh,   
come on, now.])  
  
Ranma-chan explained to Shampoo, "So you see, you and me,   
we could never, uh--" She realized nothing more could be   
said, "Uh, oh!"  
  
Shampoo looked to be seething with rage. Suddenly, she   
attacked. Ranma-chan just barely dodged the blow from her   
lethal bonbori/shui. "I kill you!" She used her lethal   
bonbori to try to. "Kill!" Ranma retreated backwards.   
"Kill!" Shampoo advanced and almost got Girl-type Ranma.   
Kill!" Her swings and thrusts came faster, more furious,   
and ALL were aimed at the redhead's head; it took all of   
Ranma's speed and skill to keep her cute face from being   
bashed. All the while all Ranma could do was retreat.  
  
Then Ranma tripped over a stone embedded in the lawn.   
  
Shampoo raised her bonbori for the fatal blow, "I kill   
you!"  
  
Ranma sat cowering, her hand up in front of her face,   
whimpering like a girl, expecting to die in the next   
moment.   
  
That moment didn't come. The pigtailed girl looked up.   
"Hunh??"  
  
Shampoo was weeping.   
  
She lowered her eyes and head. The tears would not stop.   
She could not kill. "Bi lara" Defeated, she ran off,   
leaping over the wall and disappearing into the night.   
  
Ranma rose and stared. She said sadly, "Shampoo."  
  
///  
  
Nabiki was reading from her Chinese phrase book to Ranma-  
chan and Akane, sitting at either side of her at the family   
table, "Hmm. Here it is. "Bi lara"; it means sayonara,   
farewell, we'll never meet again, that sort of thing."  
  
Drinking a cup of tea, Akane asked, as if to encourage   
Ranma, "You're not going after her? I BET you could still   
catch her."  
  
Ranma-chan sat slumped morosely away from the two, her   
elbow on the table, her head on her hand, "Lemme alone."  
  
Akane taunted her, "She SURE was cute, Ranma! I bet you're   
sorry you turned her down!"  
  
Ranma-chan responded. She put her fist down on the table,   
and turned to yell, "She was tryin' to kill me! I'm glad   
she's gone!"  
  
Akane returned to her familiar frowning self, "Then why do   
you look like you're going to cry, hunh?"  
  
(That was it for Nabiki. She saw where this was heading;   
she closed the book and left.)  
  
Ranma-chan told her, "Akane, you're SO uncute!"  
  
Akane told Ranma back, stamping a foot, "So I'm not cute:   
Big deal! You're cares if I'm built like a stick or my   
thighs are too thick, or I can't kick!!"  
  
That ticked Ranma off. Putting her hands behind her head,   
in a show of casualness that her face did NOT show, "If   
knew you were gonna be like this, I would've got your   
memory back!"   
  
That got to her, for she turned away, "I wish you didn't! I   
wish I never knew you existed!!"  
  
Ranma-chan now COULD act casual; she had won, "Oh!? Oh,   
yeah?!"  
  
"Yeah!!" and slammed the tea dispenser smack across her   
face.  
  
Even when Ranma won an argument. "Nnh! Nh! You're so   
uncute, ow--nh, nh!"  
  
Akane left the room, terribly hurt but still unbowed.  
  
///  
  
Later that night, the Tendo's guestroom window slid open.   
And Shampoo ducked through into the darkened room. She was   
no longer without her pants. That girl was gone.   
  
She saw the panda and the boy-type Ranma sleeping on their   
futons on the mat floor. She stepped casually down from the   
window box. Remembering last night, she knew she did not   
have to be too quiet. No, last night they had not been too   
quiet.  
  
She stepped around the sleeping animal, and down looked at   
the one who was in guys' underwear. "You think Shampoo   
fool." She HAD slept with him, last night. And she had done   
MORE than just cuddle with the boy-type Ranma, despite his   
attempts to fend her off without waking the rest of the   
house. She had an Amazon shampoo that had made him more   
cooperative. But Amazon honor also required her to erase   
his memory of their prenuptial making out. "But SHAMPOO   
remember." She brought out her bottle of Shampoo Formula   
110 and the part of the process she had left out of the   
treatment she gave Akane, the conditioner.   
  
She knelt down next to Ranma's black pigtailed head with   
the items. As she began she said, "Shampoo tell girl-type   
Ranma bi lara, boy-type Ranma. Shampoo mean it."  
  
///  
  
The not-quite-awake-yet Nabiki barely acknowledged that   
Akane had come into the family room, while her dad smiled   
cheerfully, "Good morning, Akane."   
  
"Hrh! What's good about it." From garden outside her ears   
were greeted by the all too familiar morning sounds of   
Ranma and his father having a workout. Over the koi pond.  
  
Splash! Gritting her teeth, Akane waited for it: The worse   
sound to start her day with.  
  
The soprano cried, "You think that's funny!?" There, that   
was it: The voice that gave her nightmares.   
  
Genma Saotome laughed, "Ha, ha! Of course it's funny! After   
all, didn't you think it's funny the way you used a little   
water to get rid of Shampoo?"   
  
After a brief pause, Ranma-chan grumbled, "You always use   
water to get rid of shampoo." She got out of the pond and   
headed for the house, "I don't like gettin' wet. I'm gonna   
breakfast."  
  
Mr. Saotome beat his son the girl to the table.   
  
Akane's dad said, "This is different, Saotome. You and not   
the panda is eating with us, today."  
  
While the two men bantered, Ranma-chan plopped down near   
Akane. Akane forced herself not to react too much. She was   
still upset over Shampoo. A part of Ranma had actually   
seemed to want the Amazon to stay. The part that liked   
brazen bimbos, no doubt.   
  
Ranma-chan was also frowning, looking down at her still   
moving chest. She was squirming and just looking   
uncomfortable, and she didn't look as if she had a good   
night's sleep.  
  
Akane accused, "I see you MISS sleeping with a cute girl   
like Shampoo!?"   
  
Ranma-chan glared at her, then tried to look casual, "I   
miss having a CUTE girl around."  
  
Nabiki said, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."  
  
Ranma-chan put her hands up behind her head, "Yes, it'd be   
nice if I had somebody cute I could look at in the   
morning." She frowned as she moved her shoulders, then   
jiggled her chest.  
  
Akane saw it as the buxom redhead equating cuteness with   
bust size. "At least you don't HAVE to look at me for very   
long. I'm "built like a stick", remember?!"  
  
Ranma-chan laid a fist on the table while grasping one of   
her thighs, "Is that what this is about!? You're jealous   
just 'cuz you don't have a big chest, too?!" Like   
Shampoo's.  
  
Akane nearly exploded at that insult, "I'm not JEALOUS of   
your--" She suddenly stopped herself. She had nearly done   
the unthinkable. She'd nearly crossed the line and said   
something about Ranma's femaleness. She didn't do things   
like that. That's why she'd sworn never to get too mad at   
Ranma when he was in this condition.   
  
Leaning forward, Ranma-chan's fist hit the table, "I   
already told you: Shampoo ain't mine. Just 'cuz she DOES   
have a large--!" She'd swung her boobs around as she   
confronted Akane and knocked one of them against the bowl   
of hot, sweetened rice. "Oh, man!" she said, pulling it   
away.   
  
Nabiki commented, "With all the talk about boobies, I   
thought you'd be paying more attention to what you were   
doing with yours."  
  
Ranma-chan had straightened up, ignoring the stain and   
sensations, "Guys don't have boobs."  
  
Ranma was serious. "Oh?" Nabiki got up on her knees and   
poiked a finger against one, right where a nipple was. Here   
was something to help wake herself up. "Guys don't. But   
what do you call this?"  
  
Akane warned, "Nabiki...."  
  
Kk-rrzz! went Ranma's brain cells as they misfired. Ranma-  
chan winced, but said, "That's my chest."  
  
She poiked the other one. "Plural? Guys don't talk about   
"chests"."  
  
Akane cried, "Nabiki!"   
  
K-k-rr! But Ranma-chan insisted, "I don't know what you're   
talkin' about."  
  
"Ranma DOESN'T know she has boobs." And to prove it, Nabiki   
squeezed one of the redhead's. Ranma-chan was obviously   
feeling a charge as her brain was filled with electricity   
that was going nowhere but a loop.   
  
The two fathers were looking now. But their attention was   
on the unfocused expression on Ranma's face It was all too   
familiar. Soun Tendo said with alarm, "Ranma's memory has   
been stolen, just like my poor Akane's was yesterday!"  
  
Ranma's father nodded, "Just the same."  
  
Akane cried, "WHAT?!" She immediately slapped Ranma hard,   
nearly knocking the redhead over.   
  
Nabiki, however, was still holding onto a boob. Ranma   
snapped out of it to grab her wrist. The pigtailed girl   
pried her fingers away from her chest. "Do you mind? That   
hurts."  
  
Taking her hand away, Nabiki asked, "WHY does it hurt? It   
couldn't hurt like that if you were a guy."  
  
Ranma-chan was insulted, "I AM a guy: All, one-hundred   
percent, guy!"  
  
Nabiki's father told her, "Nabiki! Don't torment the lad.   
The shiatsu treatment Shampoo gave Ranma makes him   
incapable to remembering he changes into a girl. As soon as   
he remembers, he forgets."  
  
Leaning over the table by her elbows, Nabiki looked at him,   
"Oh? As I recall, Akane was similarly incapable of   
remembering Ranma. How did you get her to remember?"  
  
Her father cried, "Of course! For Ranma to remember, he   
must be FORCED to confront that which he wishes he did not   
have to think about!"  
  
Ranma's father stood up. "Snap out of it, boy--I mean,   
GIRL!" he ordered, lifting the small girl up by the Chinese   
shirt front--And ripping it open.  
  
(Kasumi chose that moment to enter, "Oh, my!")  
  
Zz-Kzz! K-rrr! "Now look what you done!! This is my   
favorite shirt!" Ranma-chan yelled. It was the sleeveless   
red shirt that showed off Ranma's arm muscles. Kneeing the   
Old Man solidly in his solar plexus, she then kicked him   
away while making sure his hands had loosened their hold on   
her shirt. Her pop landed just short of the paper wall   
behind Mr. Tendo.  
  
As she lit gracefully on her bare feet, Mr. Tendo cried,   
"Forgive me, Ranma...."  
  
Akane cried, "DAD!!"  
  
Embarrassed, Soun Tendo stopped himself just as he was   
about to pull down the girl's pants.  
  
He looked up to apologize. Still fuming, Ranma-chan rammed   
her elbow against the man's thick skull. As he went down,   
so did Ranma's pants and underpants.  
  
(Kasumi cried, "Father!" running to him.)  
  
Ranma hurried to hike up both pants. "What got into   
them!!?! They can see girls are here!"  
  
Nabiki told her, "Ranma, take a good look at that body.   
Can't you see ANYTHING different about it?"  
  
Ranma-chan retied the sash that held her baggy pants up,   
"And what are you doin' takin' a good look at it? I STOPPED   
runnin' around in my underwear, so you can stop--"  
  
Nabiki got up on one knee and pointed, "I dare you---I   
CHALLENGE you to grab hold of those puppies and tell me   
you're "one hundred percent guy"!"  
  
Ranma-chan had backed away to let Kasumi reach her father.   
"That's sick! I ain't provin' I'm a guy by grabbin' your   
sister's chest!"  
  
Even Nabiki nearly had to facefault at that.   
  
Down on her knees, Kasumi turned red, "Oh, my!"   
  
Nabiki yelled, "Not hers, YOURS!"  
  
Ranma-chan yelled back, "How can I grab something I ain't   
got!!" All the while the open shirt was letting her   
advertisements flash.   
  
Nabiki sat back down, and, elbow on the table, held her jaw   
up by her hand. "This is getting too frustrating for me.   
I've done all I'm willing to do. Akane? Why don't you go   
over there and fondle Ranma's boobs, pinch her nipples, or   
something."  
  
"ME!? Why me?!"  
  
"You ARE the one engaged to them."  
  
Tending her father, Kasumi asked, "Could you just do it   
some place more private, Akane?"  
  
Akane screamed, "I'm not touching anything that SHOULDN'T   
be there in the first place!"  
  
Her dad raised his head above the table, "Please, Akane! Do   
it for your father!"  
  
Mr. Saotome had somehow gotten over to her other side, "Do   
it for Ranma! You fiancé!"   
  
Akane stood up, "I'm going to school!" And as she stepped   
over Mr. Saotome, she said to the others, "Perhaps I'll be   
early for a change."  
  
Ranma-chan called, "I'm gettin' out of this mad house,   
too!" And she would have leaped in front of Akane and   
joined her, if Mr. Tendo and her pop weren't back to trying   
to strip her.   
  
"Oh, my!"  
  
///  
  
Akane put her hand on her stomach as it growled again. "Oh,   
great! I left without finishing my breakfast. Just what I   
need to feel even better."  
  
"Akane! Akane wait up!" Ranma-chan called.  
  
Now not just Akane's stomach growled. "Ranma! How could you   
leave the house without getting hot--Wha?" When she pivoted   
around to look at the redhead running the walls, she saw:   
"Ranma!! What are you doing with your shirt like that!?!"   
  
Ranma was running so fast, the sleeveless red shirt flagged   
out in back of her, leaving only her shoulders covered!   
"Pop and your father ruined it with their stupid   
roughhousing!" She then jumped down onto the street in   
front of her.   
  
Akane stared in disbelief. Ranma's bare boobs jounced and   
wobbled, but not as much as they SHOULD have: They were   
ridiculously firm, standing high on the chest. But then,   
she REMINDED herself, Ranma wasn't a real--  
  
Ranma-chan's pants fell down. The white sash had finally   
torn through with the last activity. In only her boxers,   
she frowned, "I guess my shirt wasn't the only thing that   
got ruined."   
  
Akane pulled up Ranma's pants, "Haven't you ANY modesty!?!"  
  
Ranma-chan took hold of the pants' top, "Okay! I learned I   
should be more careful when I'm in a house with girls, but,   
REALLY, what's the big deal? Boxers look like bathing   
trunks. Geez! On Japanese TV you see guys in loincloths for   
underwear."  
  
Akane was shaken. There was not ONE thought about anything   
above the waist. Teetering back, she said, "You, you really   
DON'T know!"  
  
"Know WHAT!?!" Ranma said with no little irritation.  
  
Akane grabbed her hand, "Come on! We're going to see Dr.   
Tofu!"  
  
///  
  
Her other hand keeping Ranma-chan's shirt closed, Akane   
pulled Ranma past the scandalized old lady and her smiling   
(for a while, "Ow!") husband and into the office.   
  
Akane remembered what had happened with the Doctor   
yesterday. She still had something of a problem   
UNDERSTANDING what exactly had happened. After all, to her   
a strange boy had abducted and taken her to HER doctor; and   
the one man she thought she could count on hadn't done a   
thing to help her! (Except to tear up an ancient book   
later, at her home.) He even took sides with the stranger!   
She now knew that stranger was Ranma, but she also had   
memories of when she didn't know that.  
  
While they waited, Akane used the hot water dispenser Dr.   
Tofu had to make tea with to change Ranma back to his true   
body. Now it didn't matter if his chest was exposed.   
Well...it almost didn't matter to her.   
  
Ranma asked, "Why'd you squirt water on me? That was HOT,   
you know, Akane!"  
  
Akane frowned at the boy, "It COULD'VE been worse: Don't   
you remember all of the times you had hot and COLD water   
splashed on you!?! Don't you remember Jusenkyo?!"  
  
Ranma used a towel to dab his chest dry. The Tendos had   
something against male chests today. "Of course I remember   
Jusenkyo! How could I forget the place that turned Pop into   
a panda?!"   
  
"And what about you!?! What did YOU get changed into?!"   
  
Z-K-rr! Kk-rrr! Krr-Krrrzz!   
  
Akane grabbed Ranma by the front of his shirt, "Answer   
me!!"   
  
Rather than have his brain fried, Ranma said, "If I got   
pushed into any of those accursed spring it'd be--The   
Spring of Drowned Young MAN!"  
  
Akane shook Ranma violently, "No!! That's why you want to   
RETURN to Jusenkyo!"  
  
Ranma broke away, "Why would I WANT to return to that   
place!? I'm not gonna take the risk again! Pop can go   
alone! But there are worse things than bein' a giant   
animal."  
  
Akane stopped frowning. "You, you really don't like being a   
girl THAT much?"  
  
"What a stupid question! I like bein' what I was BORN to   
be: A human guy!" he said, hitching up his pants higher.  
  
Dr. Tofu entered, "Ah! Akane! And who is this stranger with   
you?"  
  
Akane told him, "Dr. Tofu, I have my memory of Ranma back!   
It's RANMA'S memory that's the problem!"   
  
The man in the black do-gi adjusted his glasses, noting   
Ranma's appearance. "Oh? Did he forget how to dress?"  
  
Ranma told him, "The way I look is Pop's fault! He and Mr.   
Tendo attacked me!"  
  
Dr. Tofu said, "So, THEY are the ones who have forgotten   
you, now."  
  
Akane told him, "Ranma forgot he can become a girl!"  
  
Ranma told him, "I DON'T become a girl! That's the   
stupidest thing ever! Do I LOOK like a girl!?!"  
  
Dr. Tofu said, "I see what you mean, Akane. This IS   
serious. Not knowing when he is female puts Ranma at a   
severe disadvantage. Not only does it leave him vulnerable   
to all sorts of assaults, his lack of common female   
sensibilities will assault those who might otherwise be   
sympathetic to being on his side!"  
  
Akane put her hand close to her mouth, "Oh, no! I hadn't   
thought of that!"  
  
Ranma screamed, "I AIN'T a girl!! Why has everybody saying   
I am!!?"  
  
Dr. Tofu said, "You see? Ranma's weak point IS his blind   
spot."   
  
Ranma backed away warily from him as he moved closer, "What   
are you doin!?!"  
  
The doctor headed for one a cabinet, "I'm getting some   
safety pins. I COULD sew up your shirt, but that would make   
you late for school. You don't want to miss school. A   
doctor knows that a good education--"  
  
Ranma backed towards the door, "You sure you're not gonna   
do anything funny? You ARE an acupuncturist. How do I know   
you're not gonna stick me with them. I know acupuncture's   
related to shiatsu. And those techniques can do all sorts   
of weird stuff...."  
  
The safety pins in hand, Dr. Tofu said, "Ranma, you're   
becoming paranoid."  
  
"Oh, like I ain't got a reason to? You all want me to think   
I'm a girl. ---I'm a GUY!!" and he fled.  
  
Akane cried, "RANMA!!"  
  
Dr. Tofu went to her, "It's not his fault, Akane. The   
strain to deny the obvious has loosened his grip on   
reality. To mix a metaphor." He handed her the safety pins,   
"You're going to need these."  
  
Worry on her face, she said, "Thank you, Dr. Tofu."   
Suddenly she became determined; she opened her schoolbag,   
"Safety pins might not be enough! I have to be prepared for   
any situation!"  
  
///  
  
Most Japanese used clothes poles, but Ranma found a   
backyard that had a clothesline. After Ranma snapped one   
off to use as a makeshift belt they probably WOULD change   
to clothes poles. Ranma really didn't like stealing. But he   
knew he couldn't go around holding up his pants all day. HE   
also picked up some of the clothespins.   
  
But he decided keeping his shirt closed with clothespins   
looked just too stupid. Instead, he just tucked in his   
shirt in his pants and closed it up the best he could. He   
decided it wasn't too bad. After all he'd spent most of his   
life in a do-gi, not regular clothes, and those left most   
of his chest exposed.  
  
Of course, it didn't meet the school dress code, but, then,   
any student not wearing the school uniform didn't meet the   
dress code.  
  
"I've been wearin' Chinese clothes for nearly two months.   
So what's a little manly chest peekin' out? It can't be no   
big deal."  
  
Kk-rr! Z-K-rrz!  
  
///  
  
Taking the wall and rooftop express, Ranma got to school   
ahead of Akane.   
  
In fact, Akane was late, and had to spend homeroom time out   
in the hall holding a bucket full of water. That she was   
kept from Ranma by her nemesis, water, wasn't lost on her.   
  
Inside, Ranma had to field questions from the class. Mostly   
the girls. "Yeah, something happened to my clothes...I   
don't have too many...I have to keep room for the other   
stuff in my traveling pack...In fact, when I can, I wear   
only my kempo-gi. That's what we use to practice martial   
arts in. It can take a beatin' better than regular   
clothes...No, I don't know off hand WHY I no longer wear   
it...Yeah, you're right. It shows my chest like this shirt   
does. And no buttons, too...Now that you mention it, it   
does feel more normal to me to wear an open shirt...  
  
"--You want to see my butt??"  
  
Hiroshi explained to him, "All the surveys say girls are   
more interested in a guy's butt than his chest or muscles."  
  
Ranma looked around at the girls, "Then why are they   
looking at my chest and muscles?"  
  
Daisuke frowned, "It's the law of supply and demand. You're   
the only one with a supply. There's no demand for the rest   
of us, because WE'RE not allowed to show off our bodies."  
  
Ranma closed his shirt with a fist, "I guess you're right.   
I don't remember the girls payin' me this much attention   
before." The only ones that were attracted to him were all   
violent. Maybe it was true what they said, violence creates   
violence. Geez! What did that say about the children they'd   
create.   
  
///  
  
Akane was allowed back in class just as the first period   
was about to begin. The teacher told her, "Miss Tendo. Go   
to your seat and stay there. You can visit the other   
students BETWEEN periods."  
  
Akane angrily sat down at her desk-seat. But she found it   
hard to concentrate on anything but Ranma. She kept   
glancing over her shoulder at him.  
  
Z—K-rr! After giving up on trying to figure out WHY Akane   
would be constantly looking over at him (she normally did   
her best to AVOID looking at him), Ranma kept his eyes from   
looking her away.   
  
He also had a hard time looking at the teacher. Or any   
school teacher. Ranma hated having to sit still. His whole   
life had been dedicated by his pop to be a man of action.   
The only teachers he could pay close attention to were   
martial arts sensei. Even his Old Man.  
  
He had to have someplace to look at. He looked at the wall   
with the windows looking out to the hall in it. He wondered   
what had happened to the holes Shampoo had made in it,   
yesterday.   
  
---A metal pail broke through one of those windows. It   
sailed over the heads of the other students. Ranma stood   
up, ready to protect others, his senses telling him that:   
"Hunh?? There's just water in it."  
  
Splash!   
  
"Not again!" The redhead licked her lips. "I recognize this   
water. I've tasted it often enough. It's from the Tendo   
fish pond."  
  
Akane was the first to recover from the class interruption,   
"Shampoo!! It HAS to be her!" And she raced for the door.  
  
The teacher cried, "Miss TENDO!"  
  
Ranma-chan cried, "Akane! Give it up! There's no way a   
slowpoke like you can beat somebody like Shampoo!!" Deja   
vu.  
  
The teacher attention was drawn to the new girl, "Who are   
YOU, Miss?! What are you doing in this class??"  
  
///  
  
Akane stopped on the other side of the door. The outside   
window across the hall from the inside window was broken as   
well. Shampoo was no where to be seen outside. Akane   
glowered, "Rrh! Why wouldn't Shampoo deliver her "message"   
personally? What is she WAITING for!?!"   
  
Suddenly, Akane knew! She spun around in alarm, "Ranma!"  
  
///  
  
... "Then, what's your phone number?"/ "What's you blood   
type!"/ "Were you born in the year of the dog?"/ "What   
do you like better, candy or flowers?"/ "What size are   
those --Ow!"/ "Idiot! She doesn't seem to know, yet!"/   
...  
  
Hiroshi was the closest of the boys crowding around the   
girl with the open shirt, "Hello! My name is Hiroshi!"  
  
Ranma-chan said, "I already know that, Hiroshi."  
  
Daisuke pushed his best friend aside, "Do you know my name   
is Daisuke? My family's rich."  
  
Ranma-chan said, "You're not rich, Daisuke."  
  
With other guys pushing against him from behind, Daisuke   
practically pleaded, "You're not the kind that only dates   
rich or handsome guys, are you?"  
  
Hiroshi, struggling to keep his place, too, announced,   
"Daisuke, don't push too hard: Can't you see she's paying   
US the most attention?"  
  
Ranma-chan was confused, "This is one of you guys' stupid   
plans to get dates?" ...  
  
... Sayuri and the girls who hadn't had time to get out of   
their seats had to push against the backs of the boys in   
front of them to keep from some room between them and   
themselves. While she was doing that, she thought out loud,   
"Rich...rich...There's something about somebody rich..."  
  
... The boys who were trying to chat the redhead up where   
staring at her daring cleavage; while those that were   
silent were the one's ogling the most intently.   
  
Ranma-chan was feeling hemmed in and trapped; but Ranma's   
her martial arts conditioning was not to do anything rash   
against ordinary people, "What's with you guys!?! You're   
actin' worse than the girls were!"  
  
... /Are those real?"/ "Stupid, don't they LOOK real?"/   
"Do we dare find out?"/ "A little louder. Maybe your   
girlfriend DIDN'T hear."/ "Oh, man, oh, I can just see   
one of her nipples! Move, and I can see the other one!"/   
"Are they hard? Does she get off on being an   
exhibitionist?"/ "That's not how you tell. You tell by   
how flushed she's getting."/ "Well, she IS getting red."/   
...  
  
Meanwhile the teacher had given up calling for the students   
to sit down and come to order from the front of the room.   
He was now trying to wedge his way in among them to get the   
center of the disturbance, "Miss! Miss! I must ask you to   
LEAVE!"  
  
... /Look at those stupid boys!"/ "Like moths to a   
flame."/ "I hope they get burned!"/ "They'd only come   
back to the hottie."/ "Talk about supply and demand.   
Supply some flesh, and they'll demand more."/ "I know *I*   
would never do anything so demeaning."/ "Oh, come now! I   
see the way you dress out of school!"/ "There's   
suggesting you would, and delivering!"/ ...  
  
The teacher shoved, and two boys moved unexpectedly. The   
teacher's hand fell against something he hadn't intended to   
touch.  
  
Having his chest pushed against accidentally would have   
meant little to the male Ranma, and sometimes even to the   
female Ranma. But when that chest got a reaction that was   
too un-guy-like to ignore but was conditioned to ignore...  
  
K-rrrzf! Zz-Kzzf! Kzack! The red-haired size D suddenly got   
a blank stare.   
  
"Look at her!! What'd you do to her, Teacher!?!"/ "I, I   
touched her--Accidentally."/ "You mean, like, her,   
tits?"/ "I was trying to get through this crowd! Then   
my..."/ "Whoa! This is what happens when she gets   
touched?!"/ "She doesn't fight you?"/ "She doesn't slap   
you?"/ "She doesn't even scream?"   
  
Akane cried, "Well, I'M screaming!! --And I'm fighting!!"   
After shouting out Ranma's name, she had waited, afraid   
getting involved WOULD accidentally reveal the pigtailed   
girl's identity. But, now, she pulled, shoved, stepped on   
their insteps, and propelled a third of them, including the   
teacher, to the far sides of the room. She hadn't done   
anything like this since the Hentai Horde had stopped   
attacking her! Only her own martial arts conditioning kept   
her from really harming them.   
  
The girls applauded, and cheered.   
  
All but one, that is: Ranma had come out of it, "Akane!   
Why'd you do that for?!" She made no effort to cover her   
completely exposed boy-magnets.  
  
"She really IS a slut!" the girls said and the boys   
groaned.   
  
Akane was momentarily frozen. This WAS her nightmare. Guilt   
by association. If they knew she was engaged to a, a....   
  
--Engaged! There was a solution: Akane could tell everybody   
this girl was like Shampoo—And like Kodachi! Everybody KNEW   
how crazy those two 'fiancées' were! She could tell them   
the redhead was the craziest one yet! The pigtailed girl   
wanted to be "Mrs. Ranma Saotome" so badly she had started   
identifying herself WITH Ranma! Everybody heard how she   
used his name at the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics   
Tournament.  
  
Akane only had one problem with that. She had mental   
barriers against even pretending Ranma was a girl.   
  
Her shirttails out, now, and the shirt hanging completely   
open, Ranma-chan confronted her, "Akane! Look what your   
violent temper's done! You say you hate boys---But now   
they're sayin' you beat up guys because you won't admit you   
really WANT them!"  
  
"WHAT!!?! They're talking about you!!"   
  
"You're crazy! Everybody can see I ain't interested in   
guys!"  
  
There was a collective gasp, followed by a number saying,   
"Oh, ho!"  
  
Akane shook her head violently, and waved off the   
suggestion fiercely with her arms, whirling this way and   
that to tell them, "Oh-errrhh! No!! It's not like that!!!   
It's not what you think!! Honestly!!"  
  
Ranma-chan said in a loud voice that managed to raise about   
hers, "I don't know what beyond stupid battle scenario you   
and the others got cooked up, but nobody's gonna believe   
you, Akane! There's NO WAY I'm interested in guys! I'm   
hardly interested in a tomboy like you!!"  
  
"Aaa-EEEyaaarrh!!!" Akane raced for the exits.   
  
///  
  
Akane didn't stop until she was outside by the walk to the   
school's main entrance. She had to lean up against a tree   
while she got her breath back. After that, she did not know   
what she would do. Her life might as well be over.  
  
There was the sound of metal hitting away at concrete. It   
was coming from behind the wall near the school gate. After   
about five solid wrecking ball strikes, the wall cracked   
and crumbled. The lavender haired Amazon and her bonbori   
were on the other side. She had on pants, this time, no   
longer in just the 'micro-dress' of just her silk shirt.   
  
Akane glared with hatred at her, "Shampoo."  
  
Shampoo stepped over the rubble towards her. She pointed   
towards her with one of her balls on a stick, "You   
surrender Ranma, now?"  
  
"WHAT!? You still want Ranma? After ruining his life!?!"  
  
"Shampoo only ruin Ranma old life. Ranma have NEW life--  
with Shampoo!"  
  
Akane stomped towards her, "What makes you think Ranma WILL   
come with you?!!"  
  
Shampoo giggled, "Everybody act strange round Ranma.   
Shampoo only one treat Ranma like real man." And just   
thinking about treating Ranma like a real man made Shampoo   
flush, "Ai-Yahh!...."  
  
Akane stopped just short of the weapon. "And I bet you'll   
make sure nobody WILL treat Ranma like a man!?"  
  
Shampoo smiled craftily, "Hm, mh! More boy-type Ranma is   
treated like girl-type, more Ranma wish kill girl-type   
dead. Only place where girl-type stay dead in Amazon   
village of Shampoo."  
  
Akane challenged, "You think you've got it all figured   
out!"  
  
Shampoo quirked a scornful smile, "What Akane do about it?   
Admit you pervert girl?"   
  
"WHAT!!?!"  
  
Shampoo lifted her other bonbori, "Akane is still   
obstacle."  
  
Ranma-chan snatched Akane around in her arm to the other   
side of cursed body while stopping the metal ball with the   
free hand. "Shampoo, I told you to leave Akane alone! No   
matter WHAT you do, I will not wish Akane killed forever!"  
  
Her body hugged against Ranma's half-dressed body, Akane   
groaned, "Ranma thinks Shampoo meant ME when he heard her   
talking about the girl-type."   
  
Shampoo asked, "Why girl-type Ranma not act in fear of   
Shampoo like always? –Hai, yah! Girl-type Ranma is only in   
Ranma mind! And Shampoo kill girl-type Ranma!"  
  
Ranma-chan told her, "Akane AIN'T a girl-version of me! I   
told you to leave her alone! I can't fight a girl," and,   
with just her grip on the ball, he pulled the bonbori from   
Shampoo's hand, "but I can do other things." Saying that,   
Ranma-chan flung the weapon out of sight.  
  
Shampoo didn't believe Ranma, "Ranma fight Shampoo in   
village and insult Shampoo. Ranma fight Shampoo in town and   
marry Shampoo."  
  
Ranma-chan told her, "I didn't marry you!! What happened at   
the Tendo's was an accident!! And I fought you in a   
tournament: That ain't the same as fightin' a girl!"  
  
Shampoo got a calculating smile, "If Ranma not fight   
Shampoo, how Ranma defeat Shampoo?"  
  
The wind came out of Ranma-chan's sail. "Uh...how am I   
gonna defeat her??" She glanced around for an idea. She   
even looked at the girl in her arms.   
  
Akane gazed up into Ranma's big, blue eyes. All she could   
think to say was a word of encouragement, "Ranma."  
  
Ranma remembered the times they had together. Akane was an   
inspiration.  
  
Ranma-chan returned her gaze at the Amazon. It was defiant.   
Ranma's confidence had come back, " "A girl's hair is her   
life"."   
  
Shampoo's hand darted to her long, lush locks, "Ai! Shampoo   
hair!?!"  
  
By her reaction, Ranma-chan knew she had found a weak   
point. Akane also once had long, lush locks. When Ranma and   
Ryoga had accidentally cut them off it had been one of the   
worst days of Akane's life. And Ranma's.  
  
Ranma released Akane, and pushed her away from the   
immediate harm of the first actions and reactions. "Shampoo   
there ain't nothing in the Code against makin' a girl   
bald."  
  
Shampoo cried, "Hai-Yai!! Womens of Clan which lead Amazon   
MUST have long hair! Is like flag in battle."  
  
Ranma-chan shed the loose shirt that would be getting in   
the way, and put herself into the defend-or-attack stance,   
"Your speed against my speed."  
  
Shampoo held up her remaining bonbori and got into the   
stance; she, too, was defiant, "Shampoo ALWAYS shampoo!"  
  
... By this time, students from Ranma's and other   
classrooms had seen what was happening and had finally made   
it out in front of the school and had begun to form a semi-  
circle of spectators: "She's topless!!"/ "What are those   
girls going to do?"/ "Are all THREE of them going to   
become topless?!!"/ Is this going to be a catfight?"/   
"Topless??!"/ "If it is, it's going to be a martial arts   
catfight."/ "All I know it sounds like there's going to   
be a lot of hair pulling."/ "Then MY money's on the one   
in the redhead! All she has to protect is that braid."/   
...   
  
Akane cried, "RANMA!!" and tossed her things from her   
bookbag. Things she had gotten from Dr. Tofu.   
  
Ranma caught the pair of scissors that were originally   
meant to cut the roll of bandage she also caught. Akane had   
intended to bind up Ranma's female breasts, scratching the   
male Ranma's chest if she had to.   
  
Since Shampoo hadn't thrown away her weapon, it was okay   
for Ranma to have her own. Besides, the Code against guys   
not fighting girls gave Shampoo the advantage.  
  
Shampoo lunged. Ranma stepped aside to let her pass,   
chopping the bonbori handle in half. Behind Shampoo, now,   
Ranma used the roll of bandage like a martial arts rhythmic   
gymnastics' ribbon, wrapping it around Shampoo's long,   
lavender hair. Ranma yanked, and the bandage snagged around   
the locks, pulling Shampoo off of her feet.  
  
Ranma-chan stood over her, scissors ready, "Admit defeat,   
and I'll leave your hair alone!"  
  
Shampoo wept, "Shampoo NO can admit defeat. Amazon woman   
must marry man which defeat Amazon woman. Amazon woman must   
kill woman which defeat Amazon woman...or die."  
  
Ranma-chan growled in her throat. This would be a useless   
act. But what else could she do?? Was it honor to not go   
through with the stake the battle had been fought on?   
Wouldn't it be like not meeting your commitment?  
  
Akane spoke up, "Shampoo! You have killed Ranma the girl.   
And," glancing over at the girl exposing herself in public,   
tears catching in her throat, "and you defeated Ranma, the   
man. There is no reason to remain in Japan any longer. Go!   
Use this loophole in your stupid Amazon laws, and..." her   
voice became quiet, "just go."  
  
Shampoo nodded, "Shampoo go." She had won. But she was not   
proud of how she had won. All that she had left to her was   
her honor.  
  
///  
  
By the time Shampoo had leaped and bound out of sight, the   
teachers had come out to gather their students back to   
classes. But they were still looking as Ranma-chan, wearing   
Hiroshi's oversized shirt, followed Akane out of the gate.   
The redhead asked, "Why do we have to leave early? It's   
gotta be still second period!"  
  
Akane told her, "Yes, we have to leave. We've disrupted   
class time! Staying around, we'll just cause more   
disturbances."  
  
Ranma-chan snorted, "Hmh! We've disrupted class before."  
  
Akane reminded her, "Not that often. Your first day at   
school, when you and Kuno jumped into the pool, that   
happened basically during homeroom period. The others spent   
most of their first period taking a snap exam as punishment   
while we went home. Admittedly the day you attacked poor   
Ryoga, nobody returned to school. But, yesterday, when   
Shampoo broke into class, it was during lunch--and--"  
  
Ranma-chan bowed her head, "Okay. I see the pattern."  
  
Akane took Ranma's hand, no longer so concerned with what   
others may think. The ordeal had weakened her barriers,   
"Besides, there's something at home I want to show you."  
  
Ranma-chan became a little suspicious. "What's there now   
that you couldn't show me before?"  
  
Akane grinned wickedly as she squeezed the hand of Ranma's   
female half, "How much I really care about you. Just the   
same way you showed me that you cared yesterday when I lost   
my memory." If insults were what was needed, then there was   
one sure way to make Ranma know she was woman. Their whole   
relationship WAS marked insults, after all.   
The End 


End file.
